One: As part of work, there was a staff meeting Sunday morning, at eleven in the morning. Nothing terrible, aside from being before noon on a weekend. This is for someone who probably wakes up after 11 am more often than not anymore. Anyway, as this was mandatory and there would be no one to wake me up for it, I chose to set my alarm, for 10 am. In doing so, I see that it was last set for 4:20 in the morning. What's odd about that (and no, it was not set for 4/20. Grow up.)
Those who've actually been reading this blog regularly (all two of you) may remember that the last time...hell, the only time I've needed to wake up that early was for (now moot) fall registration.
A little research right on this site (meaning I have, in another Firefox tab, the blog to which I'm about to publish this post...and I call the other blog "the ADHD blog.") reminds me that the date was April 27.
This means I've not had to set that freakin' alarm in three months.
Be jealous.
2: My other, much less dramatic and blog-worthy (yet the reason I wrote this).
I've realized that, for practicality's sake...
I cannot wink.
Tuesday, July 31, 2007
Thursday, July 26, 2007
Mama (OR: I'm Not Too Proud Yet)
The last few days have been abnormally shitty, even by the standards of this summer. I managed to get a rock stuck in my foot on Tuesday night. No, not like, poked by a rock, not cut by a rock; a very small piece of rock embedded itself in the ball of my foot.
Being such a small piece and all, it sure inflicted a hell of a lot of pain. It was placed right at the point where I put most of my pressure on, which might explain how it got there. All I saw was a small black speck that I had no chance of getting out. So of course what do I do?
"MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!"
As any young man in a similar predicament might do, I called on momma. Dig it out myself? With a needle? Dude, I'm not Aron Ralston (Wiki it).
Sure enough, we got some peroxide, Q-Tips, and we got that bugger out of there. Well, enough at least. Otherwise, I'd be whining a lot more. More than I normally do.
Yeah, I know, I complain about her sometimes. Like any teenager, my parents drive me nuts on a regular basis. But I really shouldn't underestimate that woman.
Being such a small piece and all, it sure inflicted a hell of a lot of pain. It was placed right at the point where I put most of my pressure on, which might explain how it got there. All I saw was a small black speck that I had no chance of getting out. So of course what do I do?
"MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!"
As any young man in a similar predicament might do, I called on momma. Dig it out myself? With a needle? Dude, I'm not Aron Ralston (Wiki it).
Sure enough, we got some peroxide, Q-Tips, and we got that bugger out of there. Well, enough at least. Otherwise, I'd be whining a lot more. More than I normally do.
Yeah, I know, I complain about her sometimes. Like any teenager, my parents drive me nuts on a regular basis. But I really shouldn't underestimate that woman.
Saturday, July 21, 2007
Two days (OR: The Life of Someone Else's Party)
The last three days have been a slightly madcap, Edward Norton in the beginning of Fight Club style. Lots of action, little sleep, and not exactly a solid connection to my senses.
In the last two days, I've had approximately ten hours of good, solid sleep.
In the last two days, I've had approximately ten hours of good, solid sleep.
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
So I'm shamelessly stealing this survey from Gill. I have no problem with that.
Copied and pasted from Nothing But Song. Filled out by my own accord.
1. Do you like having your picture taken?
More so than I'd probably admit.
2. Have you ever done a photo shoot, professional or non?
Senior pictures, yes. We went out to Hayden Falls, and I got some gorgeous photos. Cheap ones, too.
In front of or behind the camera? See, this is why you shouldn't answer these things too soon.
3. If you could go anywhere in the world where would you go and why?
London. Such a fascinating city. It's probably the closest to being the capital of the world, more so than New York or Washington.
4. Who would you take with you on this adventure?
I'd prefer to go it alone. There's one person who I'd think about taking, but I won't name names just now.
5. What would you say is the most daring thing to do in a lifetime.
Real independence. The idea that you are free of the pressure of anyone else. Pretty much impossible, though.
6. Would you ever do that?
Would I? Maybe. Could I? Probably not.
7. Have you ever done crossword puzzles?
I don't much care for them.
8. Ever actually completed one?
Yes. There's still a bit of pride to it.
9. Pick up the closest book and write a sentence at random from it.
"Later, the Foster-light brawl would overshadow what turned into one of the stranger games of the season." Of course, it's a sports book.
10. Do the same with either a CD or a lyric from the radio.
"Did you think the word 'alternative' was only meant for the likes of you?"
11. Have you ever tried to analyze your own dreams?
Nah, I hardly have any dreams to analyze. Besides, I'm pretty sure most dreams are just your brain fritzing out. (I'm not always
12. Would you put up posters in your room?
Would I? Dude, I do. Brian McBride, and Goldfinger...and War of the Worlds.
13. Can you sing?
I pretend I can.
14. Do you ever sing to yourself while doing every day tasks?
It's the only way I survive. I was singing "Elephant Gun" by Beirut a few minutes ago while doing laundry. Wonderful vocals (Condon, not myself)
15. What’s your favorite color of post-it note?
I like the neon blue ones. I used to leave all over Morgan's room just to fuck with him. Heh.
16. How many cassette tapes do you own?
I've made a few mixes using the computer and my stereo. But other than that, none.
17. How many CDs do you own?
About to dozen legals, they're upstairs in a dresser drawer. Yes. A dresser drawer. Shut up.
18. Ever bought a CD just for one song?
Lou Bega, "A Little Bit of Mambo"
19. What would your perfect day consist of?
Just about anything touristy, really. I'd love to just start driving and stop whenever I damn well feel like it. Driving is one of my absolute favorite things in the world. It's something I'm actually better than many people at (take that as you will), and it's how I relax. So I'd love to take off and just...go somewhere. Anywhere. Off to the west of where I work is Interstate 70. That little road can take me so many places. Someday, I shall let it...
20. Have you ever lied to get off the phone or out of talking to someone online?
I'm a guy. Of course I have.
21. Have you ever written a survey?
I tried. But it's enough work to fill out something like this (just a step above the typical MySpace survey.)
22. How about a song? If so, share it.
I wrote a few songs way back in middle school, one of them was quite not awful. "I'm Not Superman" (This was before Five for Fighting and/or Scrubs, thank you very much). I have no idea where I could find 'em though. I'm more of a listener.
23. Or maybe a poem? If so share it or one of them.
I'd rather not share it right now. That's another post for another place. But yes, I write a bit on occasion.
24. Is your VCR flashing 12:00 all the time?
VCR? What VCR?
25. Do you read your horoscope?
If I see it, I'll read through it and laugh.
26. If so do you base your day on it?
You read my last answer and guess.
27. Would you rather chew gum or use mouthwash, and why?
Chew gum. I like to chew things.
28. Do you floss?
Not much.
29. Are you addicted to Napster like me?
Who are "you?" And why do you still use Napster. I prefer the iTunes store. Except I can't get Air Traffic in the US store. Bastards.
30. How many times a year (about) are you sick?
Not often.
31. Ever been in an airplane?
Quite often. I've gotten past the "oh my god this is so cool" phase of it by this point.
32. If so, where were you flying to?
Most recently, it was from Nashville to Columbus and back for Darby's prom. That was a terrific weekend, if I do say so myself.
33. What radio station do you listen to most?
101.1 when it's my choice. We listen to 99.7 at work, but I don't care for the hard rock. 96.3, classic rock is always a good compromise.
34. What color are your shoes?
I wear a few pairs, but my sneakers are bright red and kickass.
35. Was Fuzzy Wuzzy a bear?
Duh.
36. Do you know how to play Dominoes?
Yes I do. Haven't played in forever...hmm, might go to Yahoo here in a while...
37. Or do you think I just mean pizza by that?
No. I'm no simpleton.
38. Speaking of pizza, what’s your favorite kind?
Toppings-wise, sausage. Brand-wise, I prefer Donato's (a Columbus chain for those of you not in know. You're missing out.), though I really like Mollica's, a joint that went out of business a while back.
39. What color are your eyes?
Yellow. No joke.
40. How many surveys have you filled out this lifetime?
Too many.
41. Describe your bedroom. Include all details.
Right now, I'm in the processing of actually cleaning it out, for real, for good. But my bed takes up about half the space, and like the rest of it, is rather plain-looking. I've got my dresser with the stereo on top next to it, the desk against the wall, and a stuffed-to-the-rafters closet. And one solitary window.
42. Name one person your life is made better by.
Let's get corny for a minute, and say my dad. He actually gets that I'm in the process of becoming an adult. He gives me far more respect than I deserve. He doesn't treat me like a stupid teenager, even when I am one. He whips my ass into shape when necessary, and genuinely cares. My god, I'd be a wreck otherwise.
43. Would you or have you ever shaved your head?
I got a buzzcut every summer when I was a kid. That's the closest I ever came. Or will ever.
44. How about someone else’s?
I could see that being fuuuuuun.
45. Can you do math with ease?
I semi-enjoy basic-level algebra. I really get how people can enjoy that kind of thing, there's a small sense of victory in that kind of thing.
46. What size is your computer screen?
I'm gonna estimate 12 inches. It's a laptop.
47. If you could only talk to one person online who would it be?
Either Jennie or Hanna. Don't make me choose, people.
48. Name your favorite type of music and why?
I like alternative rock, the peppy stuff. The Killers make me happier than any other band out there. I here anything on Hot Fuss, and I get all giddy inside.
49. Are you a vegetarian?
No. I absolutely love steak and chicken. Still, I respect 'em. And now I want a chicken breast...that sounds so goooood.
50. How about an aspiring actor/actress?
Aspiring? No. Have I thought about dropping everything and giving it a go? On the occasion.
51. What famous person, dead or alive, would you interview if you had the chance?
That answer changes all the time, but right now, it'd be Paul McCartney. I'm sort of worshiping him as of late.
52. Which movie can you watch and say the lines along with the actors?
The musical version of The Producers. And Monty Python and the Holy Grail.
53. Name one of your passions in life.
Music. I literally changed my mind on something I'd never changed my mind on since middle school.
I want to be a music critic.
A lot of people list music as their passion in life. But I'm more serious about it than many. Listening to a great song for the first few times, letting it become your obsession, is one of the greatest joys in life. And I love the feeling I get from recommending a band or a song or an album to someone, and knowing that they'll almost always come back and tell how much they love it. Music is what I live for.
54. What is your least favorite time of day?
Right after you wake up, especially if you didn't want to.
55. Who is your favorite member in a band (singer, guitar, bass, drummer… and why?
Liam Gallagher is God. Not a god, not god. Capital G, people.
56. Do you use hairspray or gel?
Gel. And for some reason, it makes the complexion in my face a bit darker when I use it.
57. Describe your favorite meal.
Perfect pasta. Lasagna with the perfect about of meat in it...oh. My. God.
58. What color is the inside of your head when you close your eyes?
Emo black.
59. Ever listen to classical music?
Mostly film scores. Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl, Gladiator, and a few others. Hans Zimmer is pretty good.
60. Have you ever said LOL in real life without thinking about it.
No. I don't use LOL on the internet, even.
61. Do you find you use Internet language when writing notes IRL?
I do use the occasional "roffle." But that's only when I'm being ironic, of course.
62. What songs would be on your ideal CD?
You mean my ultimate mixtape? Oh lord, I can't even BEGIN to work on that one.
63. Say one thing you learned today.
Chipotle burritos are a lot less messier without an extra scoop of chicken. However, they are also a lot less delicious.
64. What is the best present you’ve ever given someone else?
Hm...now that I remember, I wrote a song for Tracy for her birthday/our one year. It sucked completely, but she dug it.
65. What is the best present someone else has ever given you?
Either the guitar, my video iPod, or the Coldplay tickets for my 18th. All three were incredible.
66. So hey, what’s your full name?
Raymond T. Lockman. You get no more than the bank does.
67. Describe yourself while drunk.
Surprisingly calm and talkative. Also, horny.
68. How big are the windows in your house?
I'm with Gill's answer on this one. I don't really know what to compare mine to. Taller than a midget, wider than a cow.
69. Do you wear a watch?
Off and on.
70. What’s the kinkiest thing you’ve ever done with someone else?
Like a true lady, a gentlemen does not kiss and tell. I don't think you'd care to hear that anyway.
71. What’s the largest age difference between you and someone you’ve dated?
I was older than my second girlfriend by a year and three months. That's the biggest. Remember, you're dealing with a guy who's dated exactly four girls in the last four years. Not a lot of history to draw from there.
72. How many mirrors do you have?
I have one in my room. We have tons all over the house, I really don't care for them now.
73. Write one sentence you want people to say about you once you’ve passed on.
"No, people. For the last time, he he wasn't gay.
74. Have you ever sailed?
Funyaked. That's gibberish to you, though.
75. How fast can you run?
I used to run cross-country, and I still have the legs to prove it.
76. What do you believe in?
I believe in God, rock and roll, and a thing called love.
77. How long does it take you to get ready to go out?
Not too long. If I do my hair, about 15 minutes. (What a girl, Ray.)
78. Do you shower daily?
Yes. In fact, that's how I can judge my mood. Reminds me of Art Brut...
You can tell how bad you feel
By how long you're in the shower
You're in and out in minutes
Whereas it used to take hours
79. What one thing would you change in your life if you had the power to do so?
I'd give myself more willpower. No question on that one. And I'd like to a smidge smarter.
80. Describe the ideal superpower and what you would do if you had it.
I wouldn't mind invisibility, and not for the reasons you perverts think. If no one knows you're around, they tend to be more candid, one way or the other. I'd be able to observe stuff, not just things pertaining to me.
81. Are candles romantic or a fire hazard?
Meh. I prefer matches.
82. Name something you’ve done in the last 24 hours, no matter how big or small.
I went to the thrift store with Jennie and Erin and Joss. It was a terrific time. I found a few shirts (I have a penchant for old team jerseys, no clue why.) and was once more embarrassed by some of the best friends anyone could have.
83. Do you wear necklaces/bracelets/anklets/earrings/rings?
Nope.
84. What colors are you wearing right now?
Gray hoodie, teal shirt, blue jeans.
85. How often do you change the sheets on your bed?
Not too often.
86. Have you ever gotten lost? If so, explain.
I get lost every now and then, mostly in places...it's hard to explain. The city of Columbus, I know well. But certain sections, right off highways always give me fits. I got lost off 4th Street for half an hour once.
87. What’s on your computer desk?
Brace yourselves;
2 DVDs (Citizen Kane and Blazing Saddles), five CDs (including Five Iron Frenzy), a Big Red bobblehed (WKU's mascot), 2 cans of pop, lamp, USB port, external hard drive, remote, pitcher from my dorm room with dishes in it, webcams, N64 controller, and various photos. It's a mess.
88. How many folders are on your desktop at the present moment?
A few. I don't care to check right now. Yeah, I know. I'm lazy.
89. When you’re talking do you ever use your hands in the air to do quotation marks of certain words?
If I feel the need to emphasize sarcasm.
90. Which landmark would you climb if you could?
Ayers Rock is the first to come to mind.
91. Do you own or have you read or thought of reading any self help books?
Not particularly. Reading someone else's words is hardly self-help, now is it?
92. Ever seriously questioned your sanity?
Legitimately? No.
93. Can you break-dance ?
Ha. Ha. Ha. (oh. and you said dance. dance! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH)
94. What’s in your fridge right now?
So there's a theme here. I know we have lots of meat. And vegetables. Carrots are a staple. If we have those, I don't care what the hell else in there right now.
95. How many people do you live with?
3. Mis padres and my sister. Laaaaame.
96. Have you or would you ever do anything more than kiss in a public area?
I don't care for it in the least.
97. What is the strangest thing you’ve ever done?
Be born? Besides that, spending a week making a Simpsons trivia dealie and then asking all my friends to take it was pretty bizarre. Man I was hardcore obsessed...
98. Name an instrument you’ve never played but would like to.
Drums or electric guitar. Of course, learning piano or guitar would be nice, too.
99. Have you ever been on TV or the radio?
Yep. A few times.
100. What is the worst thing anyone could ever do to you?
Forget about me. Or tell me how they don't love me. Or abandon me on my birthday. I've had all three happen. Believe me, it sucks massively.
101. Are you a fast typer?
I'm getting better.
102. How high have you counted before getting bored?
Around three hundred or so. I got very bored as a young child, so I had to do something to pass the time. And I'm with Gill. This is one longass survey.
103. Describe how you sleep.
I wrap a pillow around myself and sleep on my sides. It's like a human burrito.
104. Are you straight/bi/gay?
Straight. Despite first impressions. Oy.
105. Do you ever do something else while on the computer? If so, what?
I've got the TV on at the moment. And I eat.
106. What is the most expensive item you own?
The iPod (which is on it's way home sometime this week) and my laptop.
107. How about the least expensive?
Way too much of that. Remember how I was cleaning out my room?
108. What’s your favorite card game to play?
Egyptian ratscrew. I kick ass at that game. I take on all challengers. Seriously, bring it.
109. What do you do online?
All sorts of things. Right now, I'm on a blogging jag.
110. Name some stores you’ve bought clothes in before?
Favorites (fine. Having favorite clothing stores....) are Old Navy and thrift stores.
111. Have you ever read a book and not understood it? If so, which one?
A few of 'em. I just didn't get into Lucky Jim as much as I'd hoped, except for the finale. Believe me, you don't want me to ruin it for you.
112. Have you ever watched a movie and not understood it? If so, which one?
Bicentennial Man and A.I. I hate those movies. Rabidly.
113. Do you think people pick up your slang language more than you pick up theirs?
Generally. I tend to get people into things. Wait...am I calling myself a trendsetter? Shit..
114. Are you easily influenced by other people or current trends?
More so than I'd like, but not horribly. I just don't get Hollister charging $50 for one flip-flop.
115. What makes you unique (in your own opinion)?
I'm oddly excited about random things.
116. Name your worst quality.
My willpower, or lack thereof.
117. Name your best.
My enthusiasm.
118. What would you like to do with your life?
I want to see as much of this world as I can; I want to listen to as much good music as possible; I want to love the best woman in the world; and I want to leave some kind of mark on this world.
119. Do you blow-dry your hair?
Nah. I don't have the hair to need it.
120. How many clocks are in your house?
Let's go with 10. I swear, most people don't memorize these kind of things. And I refuse to get up and check them, because as interesting as this particular survey is, and as dedicated as I am to these blogs, I'm not going to do that much physical work.
121. Are they all set at the same time?
Yes.
122. Have you ever intentionally set a clock ahead or behind the correct time?
I ought to steal Gill's five minute-ahead idea. I like to be early.
123. What do you think about when you first wake up in the morning?
What time did I make it to today? This means how much sleep? Oh, yeah...not enough. I swear, it's like the beginning of Fight Club anymore. That's probably not a good thing. At all.
124. Which browser do you use?
Firefox. I even got my mother to switch to Firefox.
125. Do you bite your nails?
Yeah.
126. Would you ever leave little notes to your gf/bf?
Tracy and I did. Mostly Tracy.
127. Ever been to a farm?
I'm a Lockman, they don't let us do that anymore.
128. Tell me about your dream last night.
Like I said, they're rather mundane. I'm sitting around with a particular girl you people wouldn't know and we chat. About who knows. I end up giving her a cigarette, she leans over me to get it, and sorta stays there. Very warm and fuzzy, I suppose. See, I don't have interesting dreams.
129. Ever seen a shooting star?
Yes, I have. Didn't wish on it, though, not my sort of bag.
130. Say one thing about yourself you’ve never told anyone.
Sometimes, I'm simply happier sitting alone, listening to a song, and I want to be left perfectly alone right there. But I start to feel guilty, and I still talk. Don't feel bad, sometimes I just suddenly resent....humanity. Like a lot of things...probably not healthy.
131. Do your days fly by or seem to last forever?
Lately, time has just seemed to whiz on by. Is it seriously the middle of July? Is it seriously 2007? I found myself at that thought the other day, and just thought to myself, "holy shit."
132. Have you ever stayed in a fancy, high class, rich hotel?
Fancy, high-class? Not quite. But I've had a room on the beach, right on the Pacific Ocean. It was in Lincoln City, Oregon. I'm telling you now, go there sometime. You'll thank me later.
133. Have you ever stayed in a rent-by-the-hour motel?
Nope. Rachel lives near one on Dixie highway, down in Louisville. I could stay there sometime. Heh.
134. What, in your opinion, is the best advertising slogan out there?
The Army had a great one, "Be All That You Can Be." It works so brilliantly, so simply. Alas, they had to modernize. Stupid bastards. (Just kidding, all the love in the world to our guys. Get yourselves back here soon, please!)
135. When they start sending rockets to the moon for us civilians will you be on the list to go?
Will I? No. I'd love to do it, though.
136. How are you feeling right now?
Tired. As I have since February. But I don't think it's physically possible for me to sleep before 2 am anymore...I tried yesterday, to no avail.
137. Have you ever written anything on your skin?
I do the occasional MTF equal sign, and feel like a dingus.
138. If so what?
Again with the asking me what I already answered, oy.
139. Which website do you frequent most often?
Facebook.
140. What color is most of your clothes?
That sentence made me wince, despite how grammatically correct it may be. Anyway, I own multiple shades of gray.
141. Do you own any plants?
Dood, if I have to feed and take care of something, make it a dog. Plants can't love you back. Unless it's a pepper plant. Mmm.
142. Are things as bad as they seem?
Probably not. I may be living at home, but it's better than having none.
143. Describe the nicest thing anyone has ever done for you.
First thing I can think of is the lady sending me my iPod.
144. Have you ever looked directly at the sun?
Yeah. It's a baaaaaad idea, people.
145. Have you ever made a pin hole camera to watch the eclipse?
No. I remember Bill Nye teaching us how to do it and I just never did.
146. What’s your favorite cereal?
Honey Nut Cheerios and Cinnamon Toast Crunch. I can eat half a box of either in one sitting.
147. Who do you miss?
A lot of people, mostly from school. Hanna. Rachel. Adam. Erica. Grace. Melissa. Graham. All kinds of people.
148. Name something you just cannot forget, no matter how hard you try.
All the stupid, lame, horrible things I did when I was a kid.
149. Describe the worst fight you’ve ever been in whether physical or verbal.
I gave a kid a bloody nose in the 4th grade. And got away with it, too.
150. Say something else about yourself you’ve never told anyone before.
Fine. I would change things. Many things.
The end.
1. Do you like having your picture taken?
More so than I'd probably admit.
2. Have you ever done a photo shoot, professional or non?
Senior pictures, yes. We went out to Hayden Falls, and I got some gorgeous photos. Cheap ones, too.
In front of or behind the camera? See, this is why you shouldn't answer these things too soon.
3. If you could go anywhere in the world where would you go and why?
London. Such a fascinating city. It's probably the closest to being the capital of the world, more so than New York or Washington.
4. Who would you take with you on this adventure?
I'd prefer to go it alone. There's one person who I'd think about taking, but I won't name names just now.
5. What would you say is the most daring thing to do in a lifetime.
Real independence. The idea that you are free of the pressure of anyone else. Pretty much impossible, though.
6. Would you ever do that?
Would I? Maybe. Could I? Probably not.
7. Have you ever done crossword puzzles?
I don't much care for them.
8. Ever actually completed one?
Yes. There's still a bit of pride to it.
9. Pick up the closest book and write a sentence at random from it.
"Later, the Foster-light brawl would overshadow what turned into one of the stranger games of the season." Of course, it's a sports book.
10. Do the same with either a CD or a lyric from the radio.
"Did you think the word 'alternative' was only meant for the likes of you?"
11. Have you ever tried to analyze your own dreams?
Nah, I hardly have any dreams to analyze. Besides, I'm pretty sure most dreams are just your brain fritzing out. (I'm not always
12. Would you put up posters in your room?
Would I? Dude, I do. Brian McBride, and Goldfinger...and War of the Worlds.
13. Can you sing?
I pretend I can.
14. Do you ever sing to yourself while doing every day tasks?
It's the only way I survive. I was singing "Elephant Gun" by Beirut a few minutes ago while doing laundry. Wonderful vocals (Condon, not myself)
15. What’s your favorite color of post-it note?
I like the neon blue ones. I used to leave all over Morgan's room just to fuck with him. Heh.
16. How many cassette tapes do you own?
I've made a few mixes using the computer and my stereo. But other than that, none.
17. How many CDs do you own?
About to dozen legals, they're upstairs in a dresser drawer. Yes. A dresser drawer. Shut up.
18. Ever bought a CD just for one song?
Lou Bega, "A Little Bit of Mambo"
19. What would your perfect day consist of?
Just about anything touristy, really. I'd love to just start driving and stop whenever I damn well feel like it. Driving is one of my absolute favorite things in the world. It's something I'm actually better than many people at (take that as you will), and it's how I relax. So I'd love to take off and just...go somewhere. Anywhere. Off to the west of where I work is Interstate 70. That little road can take me so many places. Someday, I shall let it...
20. Have you ever lied to get off the phone or out of talking to someone online?
I'm a guy. Of course I have.
21. Have you ever written a survey?
I tried. But it's enough work to fill out something like this (just a step above the typical MySpace survey.)
22. How about a song? If so, share it.
I wrote a few songs way back in middle school, one of them was quite not awful. "I'm Not Superman" (This was before Five for Fighting and/or Scrubs, thank you very much). I have no idea where I could find 'em though. I'm more of a listener.
23. Or maybe a poem? If so share it or one of them.
I'd rather not share it right now. That's another post for another place. But yes, I write a bit on occasion.
24. Is your VCR flashing 12:00 all the time?
VCR? What VCR?
25. Do you read your horoscope?
If I see it, I'll read through it and laugh.
26. If so do you base your day on it?
You read my last answer and guess.
27. Would you rather chew gum or use mouthwash, and why?
Chew gum. I like to chew things.
28. Do you floss?
Not much.
29. Are you addicted to Napster like me?
Who are "you?" And why do you still use Napster. I prefer the iTunes store. Except I can't get Air Traffic in the US store. Bastards.
30. How many times a year (about) are you sick?
Not often.
31. Ever been in an airplane?
Quite often. I've gotten past the "oh my god this is so cool" phase of it by this point.
32. If so, where were you flying to?
Most recently, it was from Nashville to Columbus and back for Darby's prom. That was a terrific weekend, if I do say so myself.
33. What radio station do you listen to most?
101.1 when it's my choice. We listen to 99.7 at work, but I don't care for the hard rock. 96.3, classic rock is always a good compromise.
34. What color are your shoes?
I wear a few pairs, but my sneakers are bright red and kickass.
35. Was Fuzzy Wuzzy a bear?
Duh.
36. Do you know how to play Dominoes?
Yes I do. Haven't played in forever...hmm, might go to Yahoo here in a while...
37. Or do you think I just mean pizza by that?
No. I'm no simpleton.
38. Speaking of pizza, what’s your favorite kind?
Toppings-wise, sausage. Brand-wise, I prefer Donato's (a Columbus chain for those of you not in know. You're missing out.), though I really like Mollica's, a joint that went out of business a while back.
39. What color are your eyes?
Yellow. No joke.
40. How many surveys have you filled out this lifetime?
Too many.
41. Describe your bedroom. Include all details.
Right now, I'm in the processing of actually cleaning it out, for real, for good. But my bed takes up about half the space, and like the rest of it, is rather plain-looking. I've got my dresser with the stereo on top next to it, the desk against the wall, and a stuffed-to-the-rafters closet. And one solitary window.
42. Name one person your life is made better by.
Let's get corny for a minute, and say my dad. He actually gets that I'm in the process of becoming an adult. He gives me far more respect than I deserve. He doesn't treat me like a stupid teenager, even when I am one. He whips my ass into shape when necessary, and genuinely cares. My god, I'd be a wreck otherwise.
43. Would you or have you ever shaved your head?
I got a buzzcut every summer when I was a kid. That's the closest I ever came. Or will ever.
44. How about someone else’s?
I could see that being fuuuuuun.
45. Can you do math with ease?
I semi-enjoy basic-level algebra. I really get how people can enjoy that kind of thing, there's a small sense of victory in that kind of thing.
46. What size is your computer screen?
I'm gonna estimate 12 inches. It's a laptop.
47. If you could only talk to one person online who would it be?
Either Jennie or Hanna. Don't make me choose, people.
48. Name your favorite type of music and why?
I like alternative rock, the peppy stuff. The Killers make me happier than any other band out there. I here anything on Hot Fuss, and I get all giddy inside.
49. Are you a vegetarian?
No. I absolutely love steak and chicken. Still, I respect 'em. And now I want a chicken breast...that sounds so goooood.
50. How about an aspiring actor/actress?
Aspiring? No. Have I thought about dropping everything and giving it a go? On the occasion.
51. What famous person, dead or alive, would you interview if you had the chance?
That answer changes all the time, but right now, it'd be Paul McCartney. I'm sort of worshiping him as of late.
52. Which movie can you watch and say the lines along with the actors?
The musical version of The Producers. And Monty Python and the Holy Grail.
53. Name one of your passions in life.
Music. I literally changed my mind on something I'd never changed my mind on since middle school.
I want to be a music critic.
A lot of people list music as their passion in life. But I'm more serious about it than many. Listening to a great song for the first few times, letting it become your obsession, is one of the greatest joys in life. And I love the feeling I get from recommending a band or a song or an album to someone, and knowing that they'll almost always come back and tell how much they love it. Music is what I live for.
54. What is your least favorite time of day?
Right after you wake up, especially if you didn't want to.
55. Who is your favorite member in a band (singer, guitar, bass, drummer… and why?
Liam Gallagher is God. Not a god, not god. Capital G, people.
56. Do you use hairspray or gel?
Gel. And for some reason, it makes the complexion in my face a bit darker when I use it.
57. Describe your favorite meal.
Perfect pasta. Lasagna with the perfect about of meat in it...oh. My. God.
58. What color is the inside of your head when you close your eyes?
Emo black.
59. Ever listen to classical music?
Mostly film scores. Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl, Gladiator, and a few others. Hans Zimmer is pretty good.
60. Have you ever said LOL in real life without thinking about it.
No. I don't use LOL on the internet, even.
61. Do you find you use Internet language when writing notes IRL?
I do use the occasional "roffle." But that's only when I'm being ironic, of course.
62. What songs would be on your ideal CD?
You mean my ultimate mixtape? Oh lord, I can't even BEGIN to work on that one.
63. Say one thing you learned today.
Chipotle burritos are a lot less messier without an extra scoop of chicken. However, they are also a lot less delicious.
64. What is the best present you’ve ever given someone else?
Hm...now that I remember, I wrote a song for Tracy for her birthday/our one year. It sucked completely, but she dug it.
65. What is the best present someone else has ever given you?
Either the guitar, my video iPod, or the Coldplay tickets for my 18th. All three were incredible.
66. So hey, what’s your full name?
Raymond T. Lockman. You get no more than the bank does.
67. Describe yourself while drunk.
Surprisingly calm and talkative. Also, horny.
68. How big are the windows in your house?
I'm with Gill's answer on this one. I don't really know what to compare mine to. Taller than a midget, wider than a cow.
69. Do you wear a watch?
Off and on.
70. What’s the kinkiest thing you’ve ever done with someone else?
Like a true lady, a gentlemen does not kiss and tell. I don't think you'd care to hear that anyway.
71. What’s the largest age difference between you and someone you’ve dated?
I was older than my second girlfriend by a year and three months. That's the biggest. Remember, you're dealing with a guy who's dated exactly four girls in the last four years. Not a lot of history to draw from there.
72. How many mirrors do you have?
I have one in my room. We have tons all over the house, I really don't care for them now.
73. Write one sentence you want people to say about you once you’ve passed on.
"No, people. For the last time, he he wasn't gay.
74. Have you ever sailed?
Funyaked. That's gibberish to you, though.
75. How fast can you run?
I used to run cross-country, and I still have the legs to prove it.
76. What do you believe in?
I believe in God, rock and roll, and a thing called love.
77. How long does it take you to get ready to go out?
Not too long. If I do my hair, about 15 minutes. (What a girl, Ray.)
78. Do you shower daily?
Yes. In fact, that's how I can judge my mood. Reminds me of Art Brut...
You can tell how bad you feel
By how long you're in the shower
You're in and out in minutes
Whereas it used to take hours
79. What one thing would you change in your life if you had the power to do so?
I'd give myself more willpower. No question on that one. And I'd like to a smidge smarter.
80. Describe the ideal superpower and what you would do if you had it.
I wouldn't mind invisibility, and not for the reasons you perverts think. If no one knows you're around, they tend to be more candid, one way or the other. I'd be able to observe stuff, not just things pertaining to me.
81. Are candles romantic or a fire hazard?
Meh. I prefer matches.
82. Name something you’ve done in the last 24 hours, no matter how big or small.
I went to the thrift store with Jennie and Erin and Joss. It was a terrific time. I found a few shirts (I have a penchant for old team jerseys, no clue why.) and was once more embarrassed by some of the best friends anyone could have.
83. Do you wear necklaces/bracelets/anklets/earrings/rings?
Nope.
84. What colors are you wearing right now?
Gray hoodie, teal shirt, blue jeans.
85. How often do you change the sheets on your bed?
Not too often.
86. Have you ever gotten lost? If so, explain.
I get lost every now and then, mostly in places...it's hard to explain. The city of Columbus, I know well. But certain sections, right off highways always give me fits. I got lost off 4th Street for half an hour once.
87. What’s on your computer desk?
Brace yourselves;
2 DVDs (Citizen Kane and Blazing Saddles), five CDs (including Five Iron Frenzy), a Big Red bobblehed (WKU's mascot), 2 cans of pop, lamp, USB port, external hard drive, remote, pitcher from my dorm room with dishes in it, webcams, N64 controller, and various photos. It's a mess.
88. How many folders are on your desktop at the present moment?
A few. I don't care to check right now. Yeah, I know. I'm lazy.
89. When you’re talking do you ever use your hands in the air to do quotation marks of certain words?
If I feel the need to emphasize sarcasm.
90. Which landmark would you climb if you could?
Ayers Rock is the first to come to mind.
91. Do you own or have you read or thought of reading any self help books?
Not particularly. Reading someone else's words is hardly self-help, now is it?
92. Ever seriously questioned your sanity?
Legitimately? No.
93. Can you break-dance ?
Ha. Ha. Ha. (oh. and you said dance. dance! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH)
94. What’s in your fridge right now?
So there's a theme here. I know we have lots of meat. And vegetables. Carrots are a staple. If we have those, I don't care what the hell else in there right now.
95. How many people do you live with?
3. Mis padres and my sister. Laaaaame.
96. Have you or would you ever do anything more than kiss in a public area?
I don't care for it in the least.
97. What is the strangest thing you’ve ever done?
Be born? Besides that, spending a week making a Simpsons trivia dealie and then asking all my friends to take it was pretty bizarre. Man I was hardcore obsessed...
98. Name an instrument you’ve never played but would like to.
Drums or electric guitar. Of course, learning piano or guitar would be nice, too.
99. Have you ever been on TV or the radio?
Yep. A few times.
100. What is the worst thing anyone could ever do to you?
Forget about me. Or tell me how they don't love me. Or abandon me on my birthday. I've had all three happen. Believe me, it sucks massively.
101. Are you a fast typer?
I'm getting better.
102. How high have you counted before getting bored?
Around three hundred or so. I got very bored as a young child, so I had to do something to pass the time. And I'm with Gill. This is one longass survey.
103. Describe how you sleep.
I wrap a pillow around myself and sleep on my sides. It's like a human burrito.
104. Are you straight/bi/gay?
Straight. Despite first impressions. Oy.
105. Do you ever do something else while on the computer? If so, what?
I've got the TV on at the moment. And I eat.
106. What is the most expensive item you own?
The iPod (which is on it's way home sometime this week) and my laptop.
107. How about the least expensive?
Way too much of that. Remember how I was cleaning out my room?
108. What’s your favorite card game to play?
Egyptian ratscrew. I kick ass at that game. I take on all challengers. Seriously, bring it.
109. What do you do online?
All sorts of things. Right now, I'm on a blogging jag.
110. Name some stores you’ve bought clothes in before?
Favorites (fine. Having favorite clothing stores....) are Old Navy and thrift stores.
111. Have you ever read a book and not understood it? If so, which one?
A few of 'em. I just didn't get into Lucky Jim as much as I'd hoped, except for the finale. Believe me, you don't want me to ruin it for you.
112. Have you ever watched a movie and not understood it? If so, which one?
Bicentennial Man and A.I. I hate those movies. Rabidly.
113. Do you think people pick up your slang language more than you pick up theirs?
Generally. I tend to get people into things. Wait...am I calling myself a trendsetter? Shit..
114. Are you easily influenced by other people or current trends?
More so than I'd like, but not horribly. I just don't get Hollister charging $50 for one flip-flop.
115. What makes you unique (in your own opinion)?
I'm oddly excited about random things.
116. Name your worst quality.
My willpower, or lack thereof.
117. Name your best.
My enthusiasm.
118. What would you like to do with your life?
I want to see as much of this world as I can; I want to listen to as much good music as possible; I want to love the best woman in the world; and I want to leave some kind of mark on this world.
119. Do you blow-dry your hair?
Nah. I don't have the hair to need it.
120. How many clocks are in your house?
Let's go with 10. I swear, most people don't memorize these kind of things. And I refuse to get up and check them, because as interesting as this particular survey is, and as dedicated as I am to these blogs, I'm not going to do that much physical work.
121. Are they all set at the same time?
Yes.
122. Have you ever intentionally set a clock ahead or behind the correct time?
I ought to steal Gill's five minute-ahead idea. I like to be early.
123. What do you think about when you first wake up in the morning?
What time did I make it to today? This means how much sleep? Oh, yeah...not enough. I swear, it's like the beginning of Fight Club anymore. That's probably not a good thing. At all.
124. Which browser do you use?
Firefox. I even got my mother to switch to Firefox.
125. Do you bite your nails?
Yeah.
126. Would you ever leave little notes to your gf/bf?
Tracy and I did. Mostly Tracy.
127. Ever been to a farm?
I'm a Lockman, they don't let us do that anymore.
128. Tell me about your dream last night.
Like I said, they're rather mundane. I'm sitting around with a particular girl you people wouldn't know and we chat. About who knows. I end up giving her a cigarette, she leans over me to get it, and sorta stays there. Very warm and fuzzy, I suppose. See, I don't have interesting dreams.
129. Ever seen a shooting star?
Yes, I have. Didn't wish on it, though, not my sort of bag.
130. Say one thing about yourself you’ve never told anyone.
Sometimes, I'm simply happier sitting alone, listening to a song, and I want to be left perfectly alone right there. But I start to feel guilty, and I still talk. Don't feel bad, sometimes I just suddenly resent....humanity. Like a lot of things...probably not healthy.
131. Do your days fly by or seem to last forever?
Lately, time has just seemed to whiz on by. Is it seriously the middle of July? Is it seriously 2007? I found myself at that thought the other day, and just thought to myself, "holy shit."
132. Have you ever stayed in a fancy, high class, rich hotel?
Fancy, high-class? Not quite. But I've had a room on the beach, right on the Pacific Ocean. It was in Lincoln City, Oregon. I'm telling you now, go there sometime. You'll thank me later.
133. Have you ever stayed in a rent-by-the-hour motel?
Nope. Rachel lives near one on Dixie highway, down in Louisville. I could stay there sometime. Heh.
134. What, in your opinion, is the best advertising slogan out there?
The Army had a great one, "Be All That You Can Be." It works so brilliantly, so simply. Alas, they had to modernize. Stupid bastards. (Just kidding, all the love in the world to our guys. Get yourselves back here soon, please!)
135. When they start sending rockets to the moon for us civilians will you be on the list to go?
Will I? No. I'd love to do it, though.
136. How are you feeling right now?
Tired. As I have since February. But I don't think it's physically possible for me to sleep before 2 am anymore...I tried yesterday, to no avail.
137. Have you ever written anything on your skin?
I do the occasional MTF equal sign, and feel like a dingus.
138. If so what?
Again with the asking me what I already answered, oy.
139. Which website do you frequent most often?
Facebook.
140. What color is most of your clothes?
That sentence made me wince, despite how grammatically correct it may be. Anyway, I own multiple shades of gray.
141. Do you own any plants?
Dood, if I have to feed and take care of something, make it a dog. Plants can't love you back. Unless it's a pepper plant. Mmm.
142. Are things as bad as they seem?
Probably not. I may be living at home, but it's better than having none.
143. Describe the nicest thing anyone has ever done for you.
First thing I can think of is the lady sending me my iPod.
144. Have you ever looked directly at the sun?
Yeah. It's a baaaaaad idea, people.
145. Have you ever made a pin hole camera to watch the eclipse?
No. I remember Bill Nye teaching us how to do it and I just never did.
146. What’s your favorite cereal?
Honey Nut Cheerios and Cinnamon Toast Crunch. I can eat half a box of either in one sitting.
147. Who do you miss?
A lot of people, mostly from school. Hanna. Rachel. Adam. Erica. Grace. Melissa. Graham. All kinds of people.
148. Name something you just cannot forget, no matter how hard you try.
All the stupid, lame, horrible things I did when I was a kid.
149. Describe the worst fight you’ve ever been in whether physical or verbal.
I gave a kid a bloody nose in the 4th grade. And got away with it, too.
150. Say something else about yourself you’ve never told anyone before.
Fine. I would change things. Many things.
The end.
Sunday, July 15, 2007
Crisis Mode? (OR: Assorted worries of the wayward 19-year-old)
I have no idea where this is going, if it's going anywhere at all. I've got stuff to say, but at the moment, I'm still trying to decipher how I'm going to say it.
This BW3's job is fine. I like it, I like going to work whenever I have to, and it's enough money to keep me going. But the problem is...well, it's me, really. I have ADHD, and admittedly, I don't have the control over it that I'd like. My concentration can become spotty quite often, and when that happens in a high-pressure kitchen, mistakes happen, and sometimes worse. And regardless of what's to blame, responsibility falls on me. Right now, I'm doing alright, but I can do so much better. And that's been a recurring theme in my life, for as long as I can remember.
I know I have a problem. It's been this way for years, and years, and years. And to be honest, I dread having to scrape up the energy and motivation needed to finally get some steam up in my life. I look around me, and everyone around me is exactly what I want...no...they're what I should be. Semi-successful, definitely with the goals and the plans and the ways of getting to where they want to go.
I'm not really anything I really wanted to be by now. And I saw this coming, every step, every inch of the way. What in hell's name was I doing, why did I not do something, anything? Am I so focused on the moment, on where I am, that I can't even stop the train before it flies off the tracks when I get to the bottom of the hill? Do I lack personal foresight to the point that I see the rail split ahead and yet continue to gather momentum?
So it appears...
As of now, I fear my descent into nothing, into being nobody has begun. It's not too late, but I'm heading there. I've hit an identity crisis before my 20th birthday. This wasn't how it was supposed to be, not at all...
I found a letter on abeautifulrevolution, one of my personal favorite blogs. Andre Jordan, the writer, has begun posting "Letters to the Grown-ups", in which he addresses the rather boring folks he ought to be a part of by now...and it's so identifiable. I always wondered if anyone else out there struggled to make sense of some of these things, and there are plenty of successful folk who do...comforting in a way, I suppose...
This BW3's job is fine. I like it, I like going to work whenever I have to, and it's enough money to keep me going. But the problem is...well, it's me, really. I have ADHD, and admittedly, I don't have the control over it that I'd like. My concentration can become spotty quite often, and when that happens in a high-pressure kitchen, mistakes happen, and sometimes worse. And regardless of what's to blame, responsibility falls on me. Right now, I'm doing alright, but I can do so much better. And that's been a recurring theme in my life, for as long as I can remember.
I know I have a problem. It's been this way for years, and years, and years. And to be honest, I dread having to scrape up the energy and motivation needed to finally get some steam up in my life. I look around me, and everyone around me is exactly what I want...no...they're what I should be. Semi-successful, definitely with the goals and the plans and the ways of getting to where they want to go.
I'm not really anything I really wanted to be by now. And I saw this coming, every step, every inch of the way. What in hell's name was I doing, why did I not do something, anything? Am I so focused on the moment, on where I am, that I can't even stop the train before it flies off the tracks when I get to the bottom of the hill? Do I lack personal foresight to the point that I see the rail split ahead and yet continue to gather momentum?
So it appears...
As of now, I fear my descent into nothing, into being nobody has begun. It's not too late, but I'm heading there. I've hit an identity crisis before my 20th birthday. This wasn't how it was supposed to be, not at all...
I found a letter on abeautifulrevolution, one of my personal favorite blogs. Andre Jordan, the writer, has begun posting "Letters to the Grown-ups", in which he addresses the rather boring folks he ought to be a part of by now...and it's so identifiable. I always wondered if anyone else out there struggled to make sense of some of these things, and there are plenty of successful folk who do...comforting in a way, I suppose...
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